Thursday, April 25, 2013

Flash fiction: Raptor Seeks Prey

I wrote this a while ago for my writing group.  We were writing flash fiction about velociraptors.

Raptor seeks prey
Hey what’s up ladies you can call me V this is my first time on this online dating thing so be gentle with me LOL just kidding bring it I’m not scared of anything well except asteroids don’t know why those things just freak me out LOL well I guess I should tell you some stuff about myself I’ve got a muscular build and old fashioned values by old fashioned I mean Cretaceous Period but don’t get me wrong I’m a fun-loving guy I love hunting and spending time outdoors especially at night and I’m looking for a girl who can keep up with me someone who can handle my lifestyle I like girls with some meat on their bones and I don’t care if you don’t like to cook ‘cause I’m on the primal diet I mean for real not like your loser ex oh and on that topic don’t bring drama into the relationship ‘cause I don’t have time for that and I’ll disembowel the dude and then slash all his tires with my sickle claw for good measure ‘cause that’s how I roll so if you crave a little danger in your life send me a message just remember I like my women like I like my meat RAW and QUIVERING LOL just kidding well maybe not you’ll have to find out oh and any of you planning to message me bitching about my grammar well for your information I’m from Mongolia and this is my second language my first language is REEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWR and if you give me a chance I’ll make you bilingual too.

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