Monday, February 7, 2011

One of those days

Well, let's see. Today I:
  • Missed my yoga class due to my own flakiness.
  • Decided the only thing that could possibly make me feel better was a whole wheat bagel with Tofutti cream cheese and sliced banana...only to discover that Whole Foods was out of Tofutti cream cheese (thankfully, Winn Dixie also carries it).
  • Tried to do laundry, only to discover that the washing machine in my building is not working, yet again.
  • Tried to mail a gift that I've been forgetting about for weeks, only to find it somehow broke between when I bought it and now.
  • Decided to clean my coffee maker and spilled coffee grounds all over my kitchen.
  • Washed some dishes and broke my favorite wine glass (which was dirty from my boyfriend's drinking...don't worry, I'm not drinking while pregnant).
I think the Universe is trying to tell me to stay on my couch all day today, listening to the Duran Duran Pandora station and self-medicating with some delicious vegan treats my friend Cate gave me yesterday. They are from a *new vegan bakery* in NOLA called Bon Confectionery. Their website doesn't seem to be up yet, but you can find them on Facebook. They even make vegan king cakes! Including *cream cheese filled* ones! I plan on ordering one soon, once I make my way through the caramel popcorn, fudge, and candied orange peels I already have. Which is to say, in a day or so ;)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Expanding

Last weekend, I seemed to get dramatically larger and more pregnant-looking overnight. It became difficult even to squeeze into my "fat" pants. This brought up some mixed feelings for me. I love looking pregnant! It's great to see physical evidence of my baby growing. But I can't seem to shake the social programming I've received all my life: fat = bad.

I hadn't realized how completely brainwashed I was by that message. I consider people of many different body types to be attractive, and I'm not into celebrity worship or the fashion industry. I don't watch TV anymore, so I don't even see commercials! I guess I thought I was immune.

I lost about 15lbs over the first few months that I went vegan, in 2009. I found that I stayed thin with what felt like very little effort - even if I exercised less, my eating habits seemed to keep my weight relatively low (for me). I'm now 14.5 weeks pregnant and have gained 12lbs. I *know* weight gain is necessary and healthy during pregnancy, yet whenever I step on a scale I find myself having to actively remember that fact, to combat the little automatic voice in my head that insists that any weight gain is bad, and any weight loss is good.

I think it didn't help that I was struggling to squeeze into clothes that no longer fit in a comfortable or flattering way. So I bought some maternity pants, and...wow! I feel cute again! And comfy! I didn't want to spend too much money right now, so instead of buying maternity tops, I hit up one of my favorite local thrift stores (The Salvation Army Family Store on Jefferson Highway) and bought some larger, long and flowy tops. I don't think they're supposed to be maternity tops, but they should work for me at least through this trimester, I think. It was nice to have some new, pretty things to wear.

And then I had my monthly checkup with the midwife yesterday. More positivity and validation! It was just what I needed. I heard my baby's amazing heartbeat, which sounds like a horse galloping. Then the midwife told me that my ultrasound (which I had a couple of weeks ago) looked great, my blood work looked great, and she thought *I* looked great too. She said to keep doing what I'm doing, and don't listen to anyone who questions my vegan diet, because I am healthier than 90% of the women she sees.

I drove home grinning, and feeling pretty damn beautiful.